You are now under my dominion, minions.
Elmo can see your soul.
Just an FYI. I'm Jacob.
The first rule of my blog is talk about my blog, the second rule is TALK ABOUT MY BLOG
i’ve been meaning to go on a diet for about 5 years
i used to think
if only you could put pizza on pizza and believe there was no way it could be done
but now, i have seen the light
What is wrong with that toddler? WAIT THEYRE IN A BAR! THEY HAVE A DRINK!
how to start a conversation, a tutorial by yours truly
GREATEST IMPROVISED LINE EVER
I get really mad about boobs because they’re just these things that hang off some of our chests and they feed babies for a while. like that’s it. they should not be a bigger deal than that.
and I’m constantly seeing shit like
"boobs are inherently sexual"
You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract
Reblogging for the second comment.